once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
Its a shame I cant put 'bomb ass head game' on my resume.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
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