Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
She definitely pulled a diaper out of her purse and cleaned up the vodka with it, where do you meet these people?!
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
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Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
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I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Apparently I gave a guy a hand job on the dance floor. ON THE DANCE FLOOR.
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