I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
The trip involved octopus tentacles coming from the little holes in my TV's speakers. The beauty of the nonexistant symbolism had me in tears.
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
God dammit everything I said last night about jungle juice being awesome just does not carry over into the next day
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
