I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
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my brother is so whacked out on percocet from hurting his legs that he started crying because his belly button was so cute
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
I love her to death but its like you have to do 5 lines of coke to be on her level.
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apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
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