Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
