You're so nebulous sometimes
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
Speaking of ejaculate, did you get the side of your car cleaned off?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Fun fact: My predictive text now prompts "walrus" as the most likely word to follow "intoxicated"...
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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