Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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