I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Randomize
