We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I lost a little respect for your boyfriend when I learned that he has a scar from a Cheerio.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
