dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
