is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
He fell and asked for a beer and a band-aid.
HE GOT FOURTEEN STICHES
it's ok my mom asked me why i had a guys shirt on and also why there was chocolate all over my bra
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
I REALLY NEED TO STOP CELEBRATING THAT FUCKING HOLIDAY
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Just got my second shot
Baller. We’re going to be knee deep in strippers and coke in 10 days
Randomize
