omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Randomize
