Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
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