so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
I just got really nervous and swallowed all of my birth control
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
I'm over my straight phase. They all turned out to be idiots and none of them got me off. I'm going back to hot girls with strap ons.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
Randomize
