I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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