I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
But break dance skills will only take you so far
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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