I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
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