so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
im in an endless cycle of being too hung over to eat all day...then getting too drunk because i didnt eat anything. where is my life going?
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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