i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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