Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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