Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
I wanna introduce you to my balls, Thunder and Lightning.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
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