So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
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