i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
