why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
would it be okay if I showed up at your house naked? and is your door unlocked?
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
