just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
