her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
