When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I think my moral compass just broke
do you know why there was a glass jar of hot chocolate and a traffic flare in my shower?!! like where did that even come from
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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