East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
i can't even hate his new girlfriend cuz she survived a fucking brain tumor. like that's just not fair.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
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