the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
Pre-pickelized cucumber-hand invasion!! RUN!!!!!!!!!!
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
He toold me that when we were younger I was his boner buddy.
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Randomize
