it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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