I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
He passed out in the car on the way to the party. Seabiscuit tripped before the race even started....Lil bitch....
Dude. I tried to hide my drunk wounds from my parents. Response: "we were young once" and "oh god, did I raise a drunk?"
You are beyond drunk wounds. You have drunk battle scars. A true veteran of the sidewalk
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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