You just made me feel so damn special
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
EX BOYFRIEND'S TWINS WERE BORN TODAY. THIS CALLS FOR A MARG.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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