Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Fourth time I had to be woken up in the line of Whataburger in two weeks. First time my shirt was free of vomit.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
I'm so tired I just poured monster in my coffee.
And it tastes incredible.
And I have chest pains.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Do you know anyone else that comes home with unexplainable injuries as many nights a week as we do?
Randomize
