but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
I woke up to him eating cereal out of my viking helmet with a shot glass. No idea where he got the milk.
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Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they pretty much knew i was there to get drunk and fuck their daughter
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like being smoked out by a unicorn. If the opportunity presents itself you fucking do it and don't ask questions.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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