I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
she tried strangling devon with the garden hose. pretty sure they're broken up
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
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