Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
I passed out on my porch last night. I'm still making it to class. This is what growing up means.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize