so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
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