the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
We were drunk waiting for tacos and I gave him a handy in the back of the Uber while giving the driver relationship advice. I think I'm handling the whole grad school thing alright.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
