finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The best was when you were crying, and trying to get the bouncer to "understand you AS A HUMAN BEING"
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Only you can make me eat tacos in your car, while naked, on a dead end road in a ditch on a Thursday night.
And it's settled. 10 months is the appropriate amount of time before having the dick pic discussion.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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