Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
will power is for people who don't want to get laid
LETS GO REDSKINS!
Quit drinking and watching your DVR, it's wednesday.
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
