he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
I understand that I gave you a nose bleed with a cheeto last night and for that I apologize
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Text me some of your sweat
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
