Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
we're gonna read the declaration of independence and do a shot for every word he doesn't understand.
Randomize
