I drank it, and now my boss keeps hitting me in the face with beams of light.
Tripping at your desk probably isn't the best plan you've had.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Randomize
