How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
Randomize
