Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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