yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
I still have beer shits from last weekend. Dying from dysentary is a real threat at this point.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
