I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Randomize
