who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
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