You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
he says he is going to get you very high and make you leave the country with him
possibly by boat
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
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