the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Do vagina's smell?
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
