So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
