And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
she has no right to get mad at us for drinking during the wedding. she's the one that chose the bridesmaid dresses with pockets.
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