That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
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