At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
new low: my hungover self just mistook bacon grease for mashed potatoes. worst. mistake. ever.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
Randomize
