I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
Some lady found my secret pooping bathroom at work. Do I fight her Highlander style? I made or may not be fashioning a crude sword from seat covers and toilet paper rolls.
Do it. DO IT. There can be only one.
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
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