So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
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