Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He just asked me to come into his empty apartment after he called his parents to make sure they wouldn't come home while I was there. This is starting to look like a bad rape scene from one of those made-for-TV Lifetime movies.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
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