the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
I feel like the other woman.
You ARE the other woman.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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