There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
Randomize
