I feel like I just won at life, no connection sex and free 12 pack of beer after. Does life give out trophies, if so I want a big one.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It's just a condom. Most people would commend me for saying I was going to start using them, and you're acting like I'm going to try heroin.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
He expects to fuck my tits but will ignore me in public.
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
