we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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