we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
Randomize
