FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Randomize
