He is such a slut. More and more my type.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Randomize
